So as many you may know I make my pay by serving America. What you may not know is that all over the US Marine Corps there is a tradition we Marines like to call mandatory fun. Mandatory fun is when someone in charge of you, most of the time they hate their lives outside of work, forces everyone they out rank into doing something that will no doubt bleed over into their personal time. Sometimes its done to build morale, unit cohesion and a sense of brotherhood but really that could be accomplished if people stopped being dicks to lower ranking people. Anyways instead of rambling about how to improve the Marine Corps I'm just going to tell a little story about when all hands mandatory fun goes wrong.
So while I was stationed in KC there were plenty of times where we had mandatory events. Normally it was some type of family day that was more for the benefit of the civilians in the command than the actual Marines. Now this one event in particular stands out because everyone with two eyes and common sense could see that this was a fucking disaster waiting to happen. So in the tradition of the Marine Corps I was voluntold to be on a working party. Why we call them working parties I have yet to figure out, there isn't a fucking thing fun about them. But my working party consisted of setting up the pavilion the night before this family day and sleeping outside in a fucking bouncy room over night so that the big wigs could sleep easy knowing that everything was ready to go for family day. This wasn't a bad deal as my senior enlisted adviser did right by us and brought us a pony keg, a case of beer, and some meat to grill while we were out there. Now in most circumstances the Marine Corps frowns upon alcohol consumption during these types of event but this unit was run by a civilian we will call Mr. Perspiration. So what Mr. Perspiration wants he gets and this my friend means a bunch of kegs of beer. So as the event started the next morning we made a beer run and started drinking and grilling and having a good ole time and everything was grand. But as the day went on and the beer was consumed I started to realize people were way to drunk, and getting way to comfortable at this "work" event. So as we moved through the events of the day a 3 legged race, some egg toss, and other fucking games i hated to be forced to play. We got to the final event around mid afternoon. RAGE IN THE FUCKING CAGE, envision a 6 foot high dog pen filled with the supervisors you love to hate and you get to purchase a bag of water balloons to throw at them. Fucking sweet, even better the local fire station was there letting kids look at a fire truck and volunteered to get some hose action going. Now we have drunk people, men and women a like, multiple kegs of beer, giant troughs filled with ice, water, soda and beers, and fire truck spraying fucking water. Once the rage was over the drunken supervisors though it would be a good idea to start dunking the more attractive women, I use the term attractive loosely here, into these giant troughs. So now I have middle aged men dunking early to late 20 somethings into giant tubs of ice water. Yep as bad as it sounds. Nipples were popping out all over the place. So seeing the madness and understanding how bad this shit would more than likely get a very large majority of Marines fucking broke camp and got the fuck out there. I get home and get into a very decent drunk nap when I get call from either Hop or El Jefe saying "hey we coming to get you shit is getting out of hand over here". So when they pick me up they inform me that one of my Marines and very large kid we called Big Mo was very pissed over the way Mr. Perspiration had touched his wife. Upon returning to the pavilion we see Big Mo walking down the hill towards the pavilion where the last of the party goers are loading up things. I see Big Mo's wife trying to grab him and instantly we know this is bad. As Big Mo gets down to the pavilion El Jefe tries to stop him. Big Mo is like 6'1 or so 240ish and El Jefe is like 5'6 170ish. But the outcome wasn't what I thought it would be, instead of barreling through El Jefe, Big Mo hit him with a Reggie White swim move with a spin, I was impressed by the big mans agility. He then sprinted around the truck that everyone was loading things into, scoop Mr. P up like a baby and tossed him on his fucking head. Now the speed which this all happens was incredible we managed to grab Big Mo before he went all UFCHolla
Hutch
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